Left-field or just off-side?

Wherever I look, I see wheels within wheels. Sport is no exception. In fact, sport is probably second only in terms of political complexity to politics itself. While I will wander into some of the superficial mechanics of football for a moment, please bear with me, there’s a story within the story.

While FIFA seem preoccupied with fixing what isn’t broken -- or more precisely, pandering to those that can’t sit through a football game without wanting a basketball score line -- it seems that they’re on target to score an own goal.

So imagine my disgust when discovered that FIFA wish to revise the offside rule to encourage higher score lines. Is this a democratic decision? Of course it isn’t. Again, it’s pandering to those who’re not interested in football per se, but have a vested interest in growing audience figures -- the media.

The offside rule has always been an enigma, so if you’re unfamiliar and you’d like to know more, you can appraise yourself with either the full-fat or light version.

The real story

Anyway, this isn’t the real story. The story behind the story is the toothless nature of FIFA and by extension the FA. The real issue here -- for me at any rate -- is the lack of appetite for the fight. And the missed opportunity to score the winning goal for the rest of us.

It seems that a week doesn’t go by where we don’t have one top-flight footballer or another caught speeding in their Bentley / Mercedes / Porsche et cetera. Caught doing a line of cocaine from the inside thigh of some woman or just killing people out right while drink driving.

If the FIFA want to be seen to be doing the right thing, these players should be served a lifetime ban from all sporting activities. What?! That’s a little draconian, isn’t it?

You’re damn right it is! These feckless oafs hold the gaze of billions of kids around the world. Their stupidity can have a tremendous impact on young people during the most formative part of their lives.

Now it could be argued that we can’t expect footballers to be the moral guardians of our children -- that’s a difficult enough job for their mums & dads, let alone anyone else -- but they should be at least capable of conducting their lives in an orderly fashion.

These people, once convicted should not be allowed to participate in any sport, in any country. They should not be allowed to advise on or to any individual connected to any sporting event, body or organization. They should no be allowed to provide sporting commentary or offer any printed or internet-accessible content related to sport.

If it were left to me, they wouldn’t be able to run in a bloody egg & spoon race without getting a hefty fine.

The only looser here is the rest of us. Not what I call a winning score...