Things that really .. really piss me off: part VII
Malt vinegar, salad cream, marzipan, any sweet sauces for savory dishes and any / all sweet & sour dishes.
And no, I'm not a faddy eater .. I love my food. But non of the above qualify as being edible.
They all share one quality; being about as pleasant as licking dog piss off a nettle leaf.
All of the above are just deeply, deeply wrong and should be made illegal without exception...
posted by Wayne Smallman at Monday, April 11, 2005
6 Comments:
Let's see, never tried malt vinegar, salad cream, hate marzipan with a passion, don't recall trying any sweet sauces for savory dishes and the only sweet & sour dish I have ever had was Sweet & sour chicken, which I love.
I have never attempted to lick dog piss off of a nettle leaf but I'll take your word as to it's unpleasantness.
Babe - pink whipped cream with rice. Generally served at all you can eat buffets, much to the consternation of older people with bad dentures and drunks look for an alcohol soak up.
I would add to this, hidden coconut. Readily apparent coconut is fine. Sneaky, well into the noshing of food and encounter coconut in munch stopping moment of realization - very bad.
For my dad's sake, I give you... the beet.
Yes, the hidden fruit / nut thing is a little bizarre.
I once had cause to eat at a restaurant called The Green Lizard in Scarborough, which is on the east coast of Yorkshire.
I ordered some chicken dish which arrived on a bed of banana .. I ask you, banana!
What's going on there?
There was this lurid slick of day-glow orange sauce which was so sweet my gums felt like they were retracting into my head.
Somehow, I'd managed to order the only sweet & sour dish on the menu, which I was appalled with, as you can well imagine...
Can't agree with you on the sweet & sour thing, I love the contrast and mix (something to do with the 'configuration' of your taste buds I imagine).
However, Salad Cream is the Devil's cum, and marzipan is the crusty bits.
I think I stopped mixing my foods up when I was about 3 years old, so steak and chocolate aren't really going to be doing it for me.
Not sure of the fun factor in eating something if there's not much chance of keeping the damn thing down.
And what's wrong with tripe?
I must confess, it's some time since I ate some of that. I think we've moved on from offal where I live.
That said, my dad still eats tripe, pigs trotters, brain, blood sausage [no laughing at the back, there] and last but least .. dripping.
For the uninitiated, this is basically solidified animal fat that forms into a soft grey paste, otherwise known as lard.
"But how do you eat what is essentially lard?" I hear you cry.
And a good question it is, too.
On bread with some salt & pepper.
However, dripping [taking its name from the process of rendering cooked meats; the fat 'dripping' off] has a dark layer at the bottom that is usually comprised of dried blood and other assorted dross.
And no, I am not the offspring of some kind of British Hill Billy red-neck...
No more pleasant than the Devil's cum.
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