On the other hand...
Rejoice! For the month of May has been designated National Masturbation Month with May 28th being National Masturbation Day, no less.
National Masturbation Month Reaches Climax On May 28
SAN FRANCISCO (Wireless Flash) – May has been declared "National Masturbation Month" by the Good Vibrations sex toy company.
But the annual event really reaches a climax on May 28, which is National Masturbation Day.
That's when touchy-feely people all across America will be coming together for a good cause called the "Masturbate- A-Thon," where they ask for pledges based on the length of time they pleasure themselves.
This year marks the 10th anniversary of National Masturbation Month and while most people will "celebrate" in private, organizer and sex expert Dr. Carol Queen expects at least 100 self-proclaimed self-lovers will gather in San Francisco for a hands-on charity event benefitting the Center for Sex and Culture.
Participants will have to provide their own toys, but Queen says there will be plenty of "lube and latex" for those who need them as well as a special "voyeur's room" for the media.
Because it is a public event, participants shouldn't ask others for "assistance" but Queen says it is permissible to ask for "support" or "inspiration."
What more is there to say? Other than knock yourself out and knock one off, but be sure to wash your hands afterwards.
If you want to be kept abreast of the latest and weirdest news, make your way on over to Human Under Construction.
Quite easily one of the most invaluable source of quality time-wasters in the entire 'bloggersphere...
posted by Wayne Smallman at Monday, May 23, 2005
9 Comments:
I can't believe you avoided the obvious tagline to this which is that all participants should unite and pull themselves together... of maybe that's been overdone already
I'll try and grasp this opportunity with both hands!
(Sorry, but that's the best I can come up with at this time of night ... )
Over here, we have a rather risqué comic called Viz and one of the characters is a guy called Roger Mellie.
Way back when I worked in Leeds, one of my colleagues was really into Viz and he brought in a small booklet called The Roger Mellie Profanisaurus.
Now, I don't really consider Viz my cup of tea, but that little booklet was truly hilarious.
If you're the politically correct kind of person, then don't even bother going anywhere near Viz or you'll have a seizure.
So with masturbation in mind, you would typically hope to find: 'vinegar strokes', 'riding the porcelain bus', 'five knuckle shuffle', 'madam Palm and her five lovely sisters' or my personal favourite and one that is quite topical at the moment: 'a Han Solo with the pink Darth Vader'
Indeed...
If these guys really must all gather under one roof, I do hope that someone has the presence of mind to open a window or two or the place is going to stink like a fishmongers apron...
"We should set up a worldwide event where everyone gets to do the deed at the same time."
Are you mad?!?
The combined energy release would cause the Earth to be flung out of orbit, into a million year long journey between the galaxies, only ending when our planet was captured by the gravity of a remote star.
All thru wanking!
Anyway, ahem, "a Han Solo with the pink Darth Vader" is absolutely bloomin' fantastic!
And by the way, vinegar strokes are the final strokes when you're just about to cum, more often related to shagging but can mean either shagging or wanking. Not that I memorised Rogers Profanisaurus, at all.
I stand corrected.
So much porn nerdery.
I feel soiled...
Hey! Did you just call me a porn nerd?
Well, I guess, if the cap fits....
I've read of the fairly .. how shall I say? Liberal attitudes the locals have towards sex, among other things.
I also understand there's a vast gay community, second only to Sydney in Australia...
When I was in Los Angeles some years ago, I had the chance to go up to San Francisco for two days.
I passed the chance up because there was so much traveling involved, there'd be precious little time to do or see anything.
On that footing, I'd prefer not to see San Francisco rather than see hardly anything at all...
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