Wet behind the ears

Now, I'm no big fan of Thomas Cruise Mapother IV.

Personally, I think he's prone to being a bit of a pocket-poser who's managed to garner more interest and accolades than his acting abilities would otherwise demand.

Maybe this is just the roles he plays, but he always comes across as the self-assured, overly confident slick with an answer for everything.

However, in his later years, he's impressed somewhat with roles in films like The Last Samurai and The Minority Report, so I'm a little less dismissive these days.

Anyway, despite all of this and despite all of his weird pseudo-religious malarky and despite the persistent rumours that he's gay, what happened t'other day in London at the premiere for his new film, The War of the Worlds was just as inexplicable as it was embarrassing.

As a measure of the man, I don't think he was all that embarrassed. I'd say he looked more pissed off and angry than anything else. As would I, I might add.

Where the two of us differ is that I would have shown the kind of restraint Russell Crowe would be proud of, in that the 'joker' would be shitting his teeth out the following day.

What embarrasses me is that when all is said and done, Tom Cruise is the consummate professional who always has a smile for his fans, who is always happy to sign an autograph, and who is probably arguably the least pretentious of all movie stars.

So here I am, an Englishman who finds himself severely embarrassed by some half-man, half-whit dolt who thought it would be a bit of a wag to make some guy look like an idiot in front of the world, when in reality, most people wouldn't have found the jape in the least bit funny.

I feel a great need to apologize for the guy with the hose-pipe microphone and to apologize on behalf of everyone else.

But if nothing else, Tom Cruise is a smart enough guy and I'm sure he's very much aware that one man does not a country maketh...