Be happy...
I was just thinking about certain people in my life and how unhappy and disillusioned they've become with everything in their lives.
My ex-girlfriend being a good example. I would often say to her: "I wish I had your problems."
I'd have done a straight swap and sorted her life out for her in half a day.
Most of the problems in peoples' lives stem from not having the courage just to say 'no'.
If you can't be happy with all of the wealth that youth brings, then how the hell do you expect to be happy when you get older when youth becomes a distant memory?
posted by Wayne Smallman at Thursday, June 09, 2005
13 Comments:
"Most of the problems in peoples' lives stem from not having the courage just to say 'no'."
Amen to that.
95% of the times my missus gets angry or upset is because some member of her family says or does something to piss her off and she doesn't say anything. But, if I steal too much of the the duvet then *BAM*!
Seriously, though, too many people are unhappy because of what they let others do to them, me included.
My dad says "youth is wasted on the young", and he's probably right!
I think many of the problems and unhappiness come from not having courage... period.
I'm at a point in my life where I've found a sweat spot.
That being able to robustly defend my rationalization of being the way I am.
I've always been the way I am, but people have always taken issue with my attitude.
There are often many shades of grey to any situation, but time becomes the major impinging factor, so you're often left with scant amounts of the aforementioned commodity to make an informed decision.
I often cut out those intermediary stages of being kind, nice and inclusive and go straight for red meat.
This usually causes no end of short-term problems but often yields huge long-term gains.
There are entire industries founded on the basis of the reluctance of people to just say 'no'.
So why should you feel bad about enforcing yourself?
Don't feel bad.
If you piss someone off, so what?
I disagree - just because you personally can't see the significance of somebody else's upset doesn't mean it's irrelevant. Surely it's all about working around people and understanding how they tick rather than writing off their problems as nothing just because you don't happen to think they're a big deal?
"I disagree - just because you personally can't see the significance of somebody else's upset doesn't mean it's irrelevant."
That's certainly not what I said.
For the most part, I see people feigning offense, shock and insincere indignation because you didn't pander to their every whim & wish.
And let's be honest, on the grand scheme of things, most peoples' problems are quite small.
The problem these days is the whole, soppy culture of talking stuff through with people, sharing your pain, group hugs, therapy .. blagh!
Whatever happened to good old-fashioned sucking it up and getting on with things?
Where the hell did that go?
The stiff upper lip has been replaced by the quivering lower lip...
Oh, and how was your Isle of Wight booze & song bender?
you're such a typical man! I bet you don't believe in asking for directions when you're lost either... ;)
It seems to me that it's the people who put up and shut up who end up in therapy (or prison). Everybody reaches breaking point eventually (even hard northern lads!)
Bender was brilliant - if only the day job hadn't got in the way I'd still be there. I quite fancy chucking it all in and going to live on the IOW. I could buy a vineyard and become a subsistence wine maker. bliss!
"you're such a typical man!"
Not quite.
"I bet you don't believe in asking for directions when you're lost either... ;)"
Of course I do .. on the rare occasion I don't plan my journey properly in the first place.
"It seems to me that it's the people who put up and shut up who end up in therapy (or prison)."
Did we see prisons full of people during the second world war?
Do we see prisons full of people in other nations that don't enjoy the social luxuries and excesses we do?
What we consider hard or difficult is so trivial compared to the other 99.999% of the worlds population.
You make it sound like everybody in the world is predisposed to dysfunctional behaviour and 'trauma' at the first sign of one of life's many little stress engines.
I like a good moan like everyone else, but there comes a point where I stop whinging and just get things sorted out...
Anyway, I'm not arguing with you.
I've got an 'eadache and I've got an appointment with my occupation therapist in half an hour.
Plus, I've got a Tantric sex class to conduct after lunch, so I need to de-stress...
I've been trying to view your comments all morning but blogger wouldn't let me :(
Let's not fall out over this - you can mull it over with your therapist instead! And as for the tantric sex class... bet it won't last five minutes ;)
They won't be happy, that's the problem. I'm convinced that these are the same people that go on breeding negativity while living their bitter, energy zapping lives.
Some people just aren't old enough to be a smart as they would like to be, or as smart as they think they are.
One of my friends has lived out his entire life with attitude that life owes him a living because he didn't ask to be born.
Shame...
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